And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
