He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Randomize
