thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
