Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
