his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Randomize
