My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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