Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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