I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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