I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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