I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
