Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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