Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Randomize
