Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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