there's paper in my vomit.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
