I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
