Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
