I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
