I bet he comes in French.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
