Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
