dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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