Yo dont text me then not text me
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
