This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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