Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
