butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
