i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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