Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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