so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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