So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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