ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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