coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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