No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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