yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
