It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
