evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
