Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
