He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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