We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
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Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
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I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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