If that was your dad, he is hot
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
