just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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