I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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