You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize