the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
