p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
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What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
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he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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