I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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