I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
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He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
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She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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