she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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