I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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