You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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