Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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