Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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