Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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