and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
