Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We need to get me chipped asap
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
