I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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