Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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