Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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