I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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