I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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