You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Less talking, more tequila
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
