I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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