Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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